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Guide for New Dads

A friend heard me talking about books for new Dads and asked for a recommendation. Again I saw the opportunity for a blog post, thanks to the magic of the interwebs I can share this information with millions, even though I am only one child away from being entirely unqualified to write about this.

Unfortunately either he was thinking of someone else, he got it wrong, or I was blabbering in some state of sleep deprivation (all quite possible). I read a number of books. They were all crap. I could have written them. That should tell you something.

And so without further ado, my Guide for New Dads:

  1. Never drop the baby. Ever.
  2. Bath time is inherently dangerous, buy protective stuff and see rule 1.
  3. Don’t worry about the baby, take care of Mom and everything else takes care of itself.
  4. Do some cooking and cleaning you lazy bum.
  5. If you do 3 and 4 she will let you sleep more, this is all that matters in your life.
  6. Have your own baby time when you can have fun and let Mom sleep, this reduces the chance of Mom accidentally/intentionally killing you.
  7. Dirty diaper containment systems/furnaces/hermetic sealing systems are overkill for year 1

In all seriousness though, it’s both amazing and overwhelming. I was having a tough time dealing around six months and found inspiration in these words from a man called Warrior:

“A father does it ALL — and he never once whines or complains about being blessed with the privilege and honor to do so. He doesn’t try to find a way out or around. He wakes each day and simply handles whatever it is that is going on in his life.”

Last week I read an article where a reporter asked Steve Jobs about having kids, he said it was “10,000 times better than anything I’ve ever done”. Congratulations and enjoy the ride! I have to get back to work…